Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s still here.

I had run out of hope.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

In the New Testament, Christ quotes the Ethiopian book of Enoch. How do the Sola Scriptura folks square this circle?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

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I was tired of fighting.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

ISS Research & Development Conference Cancellation - NASA Watch

And the sadness?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

How do you feel about the impending end of what Donald Trump calls "the Green New scam"?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

You are like me, then.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

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Be who you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Why do Trump supporters believe Trump should deport the immigrants? These people you call "illegal immigrants" have lived here for many years, they have houses, jobs, how can you think they will just go back to their country, where they have nothing?

I was tired of trying and failing.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

The sadness was still there.

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It’s here now, writing to you.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Do you even realise that NASA could've hid or bury every single piece of evidence for a flat-earth and exaggerate their evidence? Have you ever question materialist scientific narratives?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Why do people have polyamorous relationships?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.